Ending It All
by Rowen Hashiba Of Tenku Co
Summary: A look at the life of one of the candidates. SPOILERS! ^_^


Ending It All  
A Song-Fic By Alanna  
  
Rated PG-13 for child abuse and suicide.. man, I'm depressing today..  
SPOILERS AHEAD! I REPEAT, SPOILERS AHEAD!  
A/N: I don't own Pilot Candidate, or the song "Right Through You" by Alanis Morisette, although I do own the plot, and my interpretation of Erts and Ernest's pasts.. Please R&R.  
  
  
----------  
Wait a minute man  
You mispronounced my name  
You didn't wait for all the information  
Before you turned me away  
Wait a minute sir  
You kinda hurt my feelings  
You see me as a sweet back-loaded puppet  
And you've got a meal ticket taste  
----------  
  
He felt the blow to his side before he knew that it was coming.  
"Stop it!" He heard someone yell, but he couldn't tell who.  
Then, after a while, it stopped, and he saw his brother standing over him.  
"Erts, are you okay?" Ernest asked his younger brother. Ernest was 13, and Erts was only 11.  
"I-I'll be okay." He replied. "He didn't hurt me bad this time. But he was so angry.."  
"I know." Ernest pointed to his own forehead, "same power, remember?"  
"Yeah.. but why does he always take it out on me?" Erts asked, remembering past blows that the memories of never faded.  
"I'm sorry, Erts, but I don't know." Ernest replied, "I wish I did know."  
"Don't worry, Ernest." Erts told him. "Don't blame yourself."  
"Thanks, Erts. I know it hurts.. I wish I could do something.."  
"Don't worry about it. I'm fine."  
  
----------  
You took me for a joke  
You took me for a child  
You took a long hard look at my ass  
And then played golf for a while  
You're shake is like a fish  
You pat me on the head  
You took me out to wine dine 69 me  
But didn't hear a damn word I said  
----------  
  
A year later, Ernest had left. He was going to be a pilot, or at least a candidate, but Erts believed that he would become a pilot. No one was really sure if it was a premonition, or if he just hoped for it so much that it became a certainty. He didn't even know.  
Erts was lonely without his brother. He generally stayed away from other people because of his EX, and it made for a lonely life when his one and only companion left.  
The hurting- and the being hurt- continued endlessly, although it didn't happen quite as often as before: with Ernest gone, half of the problems that got taken out on Erts were, too. Not that Erts had ever minded being hurt- it didn't really bother him as much as it would some people. Because of his EX ability, he knew why he was getting hurt. A lot of times it was just little things, but it was still hard for Erts not to see how such a thing could drive some people to the point of hurting another. He knew that it wasn't fair, wasn't just or good or what should happen, but Erts didn't blame anybody. He took what he was given and never complained. That was his way.  
He remembered, though. Remembered everything and swore that he would become someone, he wouldn't stay here in this eternal Hell for as long as he lived. He would make something of himself, and see what happened when his father read the credits, the thankyous, and all he saw was this:  
"Thanks, dad, for giving me a Hell to get out of. For giving me a dream, something to strive for- getting away from you."  
  
----------  
I see right through you  
I know right through you  
I feel right through you  
I walk right through you  
----------  
  
When Erts was fourteen, he too left for the Goddess Operation Academy (G.O.A.).  
He soon located his older brother, Ernest, and discovered also that he was a pilot.  
"Ernest?" He asked hesitantly, wondering if he would be recognized- they had been seperated for two years, after all.  
His older brother turned to look at him, and smiled suddenly.  
"Erts? Is that really you? It's been so long!" Ernest exclaimed, hugging him for a moment.  
"It's me." Erts said with a slight smile. "I would've come sooner but you have to be fourteen, remember? I wanted to come sooner."  
"I wish I could have brought you with me when I came here. Was it.. bad, after I left?"  
"I think it got a little better, actually. I don't know why." Erts explained, "but I'm okay, and I'm here now, and we're together again. That's what matters."  
"Yes.. that is all that matters."  
  
----------  
Hello Mr. Man  
You didn't think I'd come back  
You didn't think I'd show up with my army  
And this ammunition on my back  
----------  
  
The candidates were watching the screen, unsure of how the battle with the Victim was going. It didn't seem good for the pilots, this time.  
Zero smiled- the pilots would pull through, they always had. That was a split-second before the explosion.  
Erts' eyes widened, he appeared visibly shaken, shocked, scared.  
"No.." He whispered, "no.. it can't happen.. no.."  
One of the Ingrid pilots had been killed. No, it can't be..  
"Ernest.."  
Zero was confused; what had happened?  
"The pilot died." Erts replied to Zero's silent inquisition. His voice was toneless, as if he were in shock. "Ernest Cuore. Pilot of the Luhma-Klein."  
"Oh my God." Was Kizna's reaction. Rome put a hand on Erts' shoulder, but he shifted away from the comfort and walked away, to another part of the room, where he was alone with his thoughts.  
Zero followed, thinking, maybe he needs some time alone, but now isn't that time. He shouldn't have to face all of this by himself.. Ernest was his brother, right?  
"Did they know this was going to happen?" Erts' tone was demanding. Zero knew that the question was directed at him- Erts had probably noticed him coming long before he got there.  
"What?"  
"They said they had a feeling there was going to be a vacancy in the pilot ranks soon- did they KNOW that something like this would happen?" Erts demanded, tears streaming down his face; he made no attempt to wipe them away.  
"I don't know." Zero replied. "Sorry."  
"It's not your fault- don't be sorry." Erts replied. "I'm just sad, and- and angry, too, I guess. I had planned on being a pilot with Ernest. I wanted to fight by his side, not in his memory. I don't want this to end now, I want him to come back okay." Erts was sobbing, he made no attempt to cover it or hide it.  
"You can still be a pilot." Zero replied, trying not to sound as insensitive as he thought he sounded.  
"I.. I guess I could.. I can destroy the Victims for Ernest.. I've still got a dream.. thank you, Zero." Erts replied, "I have a dream.. but.. but.. well, for now.. I think I get a break. I get a break, calm down, I want to mourn for my brother in peace.. no more practice for a while now. I just want to live."  
"Whatever that means."  
  
----------  
Now that I'm Miss Thing  
Now that I'm a zillionaire  
You scan the credits for your name  
And wonder why it's not there  
----------  
  
Erts Virny Cocteau, the pilot of the Luhma-Klien, had come to GOA again, part of the once-a-year visit the pilots did no matter how much they hated it.  
"Again." Gareas complained. "After what happened last year, I'm surprised they made us."  
"They want us to see the new kids." Rioroute told them, "y'know, get the kids' morale up, 'cuz they think they might be working with the pilots."  
"I'm getting tired of signing autographs every year, you know." Yu commented. "It's a little tedious."  
"Makes you wonder how authors do it all the time, doesn't it?" Gareas replied.  
"You betcha. We only hafta do it once a year- they must have a hell of a time!" Rioroute said.  
Erts' looked up when he heard someone shouting. He looked forward and saw a familiar candidate.  
"Zero." Erts said softly, walking towards his friend. Gareas smiled at him, as if to say, Go ahead, it doesn't matter if you're a few minutes late. Have some fun.  
"Erts, hey!" Zero said cheerfully, "how's it going? What's it like to be a pilot? Is it as awesome as it sounds? What's up?"  
"Calm down." Zero did no such thing, but Erts continued speaking anyway. "I'm fine. Being a pilot is alright, I guess. I don't like fighting. I suppose if I did, yes, it would be 'awesome'. What have you been doing?"  
"Stuff." Zero said casually, "just the same old stuff."  
By the time Erts got to the assembly, it was almost one-third over.  
"'Bout time." Yu commented with a grin. Erts returned the smile. He had grown much closer to the pilots than he had been when he first became a pilot. They were friends now.  
"I know." Erts replied softly, "sorry."  
When they got to the part where the pilots said something, Erts' statement was a lot shorter than the other pilots'. In fact, it was only one sentance:  
"For those with wings, fly to your dreams."  
  
=END=  
  
  
A/N: A little depressing, a little strange. I had to get Zero in on this one. ^_^ I hope you enjoyed it.  
The part about when Ernest died is not accurate- I haven't seen that episode, haven't even read an episode summary yet. I really liked the conversation with Erts and Zero in that part, though. That turned out really well.  
My favorite parts were when the pilots were talking about going to GOA in the last part, and when Erts used the phrase, "for those with wings, fly to your dreams". I wasn't planning to use that, but it sounded a lot better than having an insanely long speech involving his father, getting hurt, and his brother, and that saying fit, so I put that in instead.  
The end justifies the means- in this case that's true. The beginning was meant simply as a building-block for later parts. Don't hate me just because I torture my favorite characters.  
Anyway, please review, because I live of those things.  
*Alanna, the Erts otaku*  
evil_kayura@hotmail.com  
  
P.S. Flames will be used to roast Hiead Gner. So, don't flame. 


End file.
